Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
