he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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