Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires