Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"