I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.