it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?