omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
