i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
