Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
