Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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