Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
