Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
