the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
