I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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