I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
