There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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