It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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