So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
