While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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