I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
