I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I checked into jail on foursquare
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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