If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Girls should come with a carfax report
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
