love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
