haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize