I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
