So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
