Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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