I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
