Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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