I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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