Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
