He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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