I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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