I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
