U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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