note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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