I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
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Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
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What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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