i permit you to call me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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