so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
