u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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