Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
