My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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