Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Randomize
