I bet he comes in French.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
