how can u be prego again
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
