she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
