i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
