she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
