i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
