Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
