Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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