just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
