..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
