3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize