Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
