Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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