oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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