Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
