yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
