i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
