***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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