he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
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He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He has the fingertips of a God
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