woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
