IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
