i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize