I just saw a hot homeless man
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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